First day at work (temp)
I am now officially a working person who rushes out of the house in the morning to start the arduous trek to work. Instead of exploring the land of my dreams (dreamland) I will now spend my precious mornings to explore the various types of dirt and debris along subwaylines and the gossip and psychological games that are thrown hither and thither in the hallowed rooms of industry and commerce.
It was the first day of work after slowly having come out to family and whatever friends were left. Having done some work on myself and practiced both transitioning and communicating myself, I felt more confident about myself than a couple of months ago. However, that didn’t really prompt me to scream out “Hey, everybody, I’m trans!” and “Do you want to have a look at my chest” (with a wry smile).
I kind of stayed away from the group, who seemed to form a cluster in every 10 minute break. I wasn’t used to taking breaks with everyone at work and did not want to meddle in their affairs. I didn’t know what to talk about and couldn’t really keep up with their logic and choice of words when talking.
So I stood apart from them and just waited to go back in (to work), but the eventually ‘accosted’ me about my ‘shyness’ (lack of socialisisng) and sort of in a round-about way told me off for it (by using HUMOUR).
I got the message and went on the offnse straight away; it was as if a switch had been switched, a script played out. I confronted them straight away about the ‘trans issue’, especially when they talked about my weight and, more especially, my style of clothing. Yes, they talked about it, but at least they talked with me about me, which gave me free reign to respond. I told them straight away that I am so ‘thin’ because recently I lost a bit of weight, because I had top surgery and now there is ‘nothing’ left were before there was something.
I also told them that I practiced abstinence in all things (I hope I haven’t encouraged them to probe me further on this….my aim was for them to be discouraged to think about ‘normal’ things in relation to me)…
They took it quite well, though I could see that with all their positive reinforcement and acceptance, they could still not comprehend fully what I said. Especially one guy, who kept asking me whether I was born female, and seemed to be relieved when I answered that with an affirmative.
I hope this trans thing won’t interfre too much in my work now that I am outed. Or perhaps it is good that I got it out of the way, because now there’s less suspicions floating around (I was pretty vehement and honest about my thoughts)…I detonated the trans-bomb before someone could accidentally step on it and catch me off guard.
There are some female, some (more) male workmates, and I know that ‘boys will be boys, and girls will be girls’ ;
At least my workmates will probably always fit this stereotype.