“I’m not trans”
by dominicdemeyn
In one of my recent posts I have stated, I think, that I am trans* because I want to transition. That is not really the correct way of describing being trans and should not be taken as a measure to describe other trans people and experiences.
I am trans*, but I’m not. I am trans, because I don’t fit into the cis-world, because I am not really cis (male/female), because I don’t fit the prescribed binary. So, in politically-correct (hetero-normative) terms, I probably should be placed in the trans* category (in the category ‘other’).
That’s fine, I don’t care much for being ‘cis’, whatever THAT really means. I don’t care for the politically-correct, well-established binary. Since I was born I have never fit in there, and back then I didn’t even know what trans/trans* was.
I am Neutrois and I want to change my body to fit my ideal. Like getting a tattoo or having a haircut, I want to shape my skin and other aspects of myself, because I am not happy with them (how they are at the moment). I know it’s a bit selfish and superficial, because I am ‘so obsessed’ with my body, but it is an indicator of who I am (inside, and I don’t mean organs here, I mean psychology and personality).
So, I’m happy for now to say I’m trans, eventhough I’m actually Neutrois.
I discovered this video on the Internet today. I rarely go on youtube, I am more of a reader of written blogs, but sometimes I stumble upon a video I can identify with.
Here’s one by laidbaqq. What was said in that video really resonated with me and I would like to share it on this blog with much appreciation:
A lot of trans people are bombarded with misconceptions by the wider community due to their not fitting into traditional gender roles and expectations. A lot of terms now encountered in the trans community are misunderstood and their use as dominating identity labels limit people’s freedom to move in society without gender bias.
queerbtw (Brennan) talks about this in the Femm Trans Boy-I’m not “really still a girl”. youtube video: Another must-watch for anyone interested in this topic and anyone struggling with labels.
I’m so glad that there are people out there who use their time to tell us about these things, to encourage diversity and resist the mainstream. They show us that transpeople, genderqueer people and others exist, that they have names and faces, and are real people. They have jobs, families, hobbies, they are not reducible to a label or a word or phrase or exclamation or something symbolic. They are flesh and blood, and they are walking amongst us!
Ha…fantastic!
i think you just said everything i’ve ever wanted to say about it. 🙂 that’s rad.
Hi again, thanks for taking such an interest in my thoughts. And yes, I do think we agree. I have a habit of not stating things clearly. I have thought about what I really want to say and it’s this: I belive transness is not merely connected to bodies (the biological) or to transition. I am really annoyed that a lot of trans* folks are exluded from the narrative and given less rights in terms of asserting their true selves. Medical transition is useful and a great option for some who feel they need this, but not the marker of being trans.
I think we’re trans enough.
though you don’t explicitly state it in your post, what i’m reading is a conflation of social transition and medical transition. so i’m curious about whether i’m just reading into it or if you are lumping social and medical transition together.
this is important to me because the notion that transness is necessarily connected to bodies excludes a lot of trans* folks. it also sets up the narrative of medical transition as the only trans* narrative, even though we all have our own stories.
i get the feeling that we basically agree on shit– i’m just reading too much into your writing. also, nit-picky is my way of life. 🙂
ps: my original comment isn’t worded very clearly. (sorry.) it should read: “…one’s desire/need to transition wouldn’t be a NECESSARY factor in transness because some people who’re designated the wrong gender at birth have no desire/need to transition medically and/or socially.” just meaning that we’re all trans* enough, basically.
I think perhaps some people are caught in the wrong body, but their current body does not give them so much grief, because they are able to live in/with it and feel like they don’t need to transition, some leave the transitioning for another time and place until they feel more sure they really want to take that step. I think both trans and trans* (genderqueer) sorts of individuals have valid opinions, those who want to transition and those who don’t can both be trans/trans*. Some, however, feel much more dysphoria and a strong dislike of their physical features, and these people are not only traditional trans folk. These people might feel the need to transition more strongly due to their mental state, their disconnection with their body, and this can happen to a lot of people depending on how they feel about their current physical form.
But whether transition is an option or not for people with gender incongruence (perceived/felt gender doesn’t match physical features), what’s important and should be recognised as such is how they feel. Even if they don’t want to transition, due to several reasons (cost, fear or dislike of surgery) INSIDE, in their hearts and minds and soul (one has to believe in such concepts first, I guess 🙂 ) they are still trans. Each person responds differently to this ‘revelation’. To me, trans is an aspect of beyond and it doesn’t necessarily need to be expressed in dramatic surgical ways in order to exist in a person. My person being trans* (not male, not female) is definitely a bit different and outside of the binary (my gender culture of male/female). Perhaps if culture was more accomodating in this respect, we would call this condition something else or it wouldn’t be made so much fuss about. But nonetheless, if one feels yuk in one’s body, one should have the right to change it. That feeling of yuk can be there since birth or evolve throughout many years of struggling with oneself. The individual is the one who defines what trans is for them and how much trans (beyong traditional norms, for example) there is for them. I think I still would’ve wanted to change my body even if society had been more respectful of me in the past, it’s just an abnormal feeling to have a mind that doesn’t match the body you’re in.
Sorry, long answer, I hope I could answer your question.
what do you think of the idea that you’re trans* if you were designated the wrong gender at birth, depending on how your culture views gender? in this model, one’s desire/need to transition wouldn’t be a factor in transness because some people who’re designated the wrong gender at birth have no desire/need to transition medically and/or socially.
I don’t blv in binary sex, I have this theory that you have 100% for defining your gender for example I used to be 30 percent fem and therefore 70 percent male. And that is my gender so it is not either this or that, its neither this nor that. according to this theory every one has a especial gender and I have never met anyone that is 100% male or female (I’ll talk about it more on my blog soon); but my transgender friends are 110 percent+ fem or male! I don’t know how is that possible but they are.
*by the way this theory must be just a mixture of other thoughts, and not really original!
That’s Good. I am happy for you.
You’re welcome. I’m glad too that I came across these vids, they made my day a bit more positive.
I like this post a lot and I want to thank you for posting these videos. They don’t really apply to me, as I am not trans, I am just a Pansexual girl. I still enjoy looking at these things as I am part of the LGBTQA+ Community.