“I’m not trans”

by dominicdemeyn

In one of my recent posts I have stated, I think, that I am trans* because I want to transition. That is not really the correct way of describing being trans and should not be taken as a measure to describe other trans people and experiences.

I am trans*, but I’m not. I am trans, because I don’t fit into the cis-world, because I am not really cis (male/female), because I don’t fit the prescribed binary. So, in politically-correct (hetero-normative) terms, I probably should be placed in the trans* category (in the category ‘other’).

That’s fine, I don’t care much for being ‘cis’, whatever THAT really means. I don’t care for the politically-correct, well-established binary. Since I was born I have never fit in there, and back then I didn’t even know what trans/trans* was.

I am Neutrois and I want to change my body to fit my ideal. Like getting a tattoo or having a haircut, I want to shape my skin and other aspects of myself, because I am not happy with them (how they are at the moment). I know it’s a bit selfish and superficial, because I am ‘so obsessed’ with my body, but it is an indicator of who I am (inside, and I don’t mean organs here, I mean psychology and personality).

So, I’m happy for now to say I’m trans, eventhough I’m actually Neutrois.

I discovered this video on the Internet today. I rarely go on youtube, I am more of a reader of written blogs, but sometimes I stumble upon a video I can identify with.

Here’s one by laidbaqq. What was said in that video really resonated with me and I would like to share it on this blog with much appreciation:

A lot of trans people are bombarded with misconceptions by the wider community due to their not fitting into traditional gender roles and expectations. A lot of terms now encountered in the trans community are misunderstood and their use as dominating identity labels limit people’s freedom to move in society without gender bias.

queerbtw (Brennan) talks about this in the Femm Trans Boy-I’m not “really still a girl”. youtube video: Another must-watch for anyone interested in this topic and anyone struggling with labels.

I’m so glad that there are people out there who use their time to tell us about these things, to encourage diversity and resist the mainstream. They show us that transpeople, genderqueer people and others exist, that they have names and faces, and are real people. They have jobs, families, hobbies, they are not reducible to a label or a word or phrase or exclamation or something symbolic. They are flesh and blood, and they are walking amongst us!

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