My progress so far: 3758 words
The first thing I did for NaNoWriMo was buy a small writing desk from a IKEA and a chair I could comfortably sit on. Then I bought some chocolate (Amicis-even the name suggest that they would be my friends throughout the writing month) and then I lay a couple of empty notebooks on the table to make myself look more studious and in order to be able to tap into the symbolic energy they posess when I felt my motivation and creativity lapsing. Just looking at notebooks makes me want to write something, they are to me what a Bible might be to a priesterly person.
I started writing, I just started, without concept or story-line. I had a story a long time ago, but dismissed it when the characters in it got too creepy and started developing their own personalities, or so I thought.
They weren’t ready yet to come out and be written, there were too many conflicting emotions in regards to them, so maybe these ones are a slight modification.
They are, of course, allowed to develop, but with a bit more restraint and purpose: the story should also have impoartance, not only the characters.
I don’t know how I will continue to write and not loose the overview of the novel. I have no notes to guide me, just obsessive thoughts about how to proceed. A lot of the time, and this is just the beginning, I don’t feel like sitting down and writing, but once I start I keep thinking about it, so, in order to get some peace, I have to eventually write my thoughts down.
That is my ‘plan’ for the next month: basically not having my head explode due to fustration and an over-active mind.
I’m still hoping the story will write itself or everything will come to me in a dream and then I’ll just have to relate what I dreamt about, which shouldn’t be too much work.
It’s awkward to write and spend so much time with characters, even if they are one’s own production. When writing, especially without much concept, you allow your unconscious more free reign and it’s always a bit scary: What will come out of my pen/keyboard? Are these really my thoughts? Where did these ideas come from? Who am I to write something and give life to these characters, when I don’t even have a stable identity myself?
The main thing is not to get too upset or critical with myself or the characters I create: they are allowed to be there and I am allowed to write. I don’t have to write about an important message or have a perfect story and it doesn’t always have to make sense.
Isn’t that what being creative is about?